this is such a late, late journal. it's not that a lot has been happening, really, but i didn't know what to present in this for the past month.
i'm back from TX. right after i left, the town i was in flooded and destroyed people's homes and killed over 20. i feel bad for feeling lucky i left.
i found out a week before i left that my best friend was in the hospital. she's got something severe, but not terminal. she's always been sickly... i just wonder what would have been different if it had been caught sooner. its her doctor's fault, for sure, too. everything is dismissed as depression. what kind of fucking idiot do you have to be to stick to that after you've seen her get visibly and diagnosably more sick after months and months? i don't know. i can't let it go. she is doing better after her hospitalization. it scared me
i've also been watching Donnie Darko a whole lot. hence Head Over Heels. all of this has just made me think loads about death. i don't think i can bring myself to believe in an afterlife or any of that. i'm scared to death of oblivion. each passing day i realize i'm never going to be able to relive anything again and i think i'm wasting it. everything in the world is and has been going to shit and how many people have been reduced to oblivion...

more positively, i guess, i did play Deltarune while i was in TX, and i really liked it. i've always liked UTDR's bullet hell combat and its characters. i really like what Deltarune has done with the concept of player control and its effect on the characters within the story, and i'm super excited for where that'll be taken in later chapters, especially with the weird route.
i've also been doing some stuff for artfight, although slowly. i think every year i get less motivated for it. i do like making shit for people though and its cool knowing people spent time on the stuff they send me, too. i've just moved away artistically from drawing fanart and stuff like that.