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Dressing Up - The Cure

Wednesday - 30th April 2025

april has felt both incredibly long and incredibly short. it feels like i just started this journals page.
i don't know. all week i've felt so run down. everything has sort of washed over me. i feel so stuck inside my own head. i don't feel alive

in other news, i did a sheep heart dissection yesterday. i usually like dissections a lot, but this one bothered me. i'm so sensitive to smells and the preserving solution those hearts were steeped in was just fucking with me. i felt like i smelled like it all day. i had a burger for lunch, too.

oh, i also watched child's play 3, bride of chucky, and seed of chucky a couple days ago. they were so much worse than i remember them being. i don't think i'll change the 'recent movie' on the homepage, either. bride was sort of pushing it for my corn-out tolerance, but i definitely liked it better than seed. the premise was sort of annoying, though. i definitely think chucky was played out by then. and then 4 more movies and a series came out.

Wednesday - 23rd April 2025

i've been so crazy tired lately because of the weather. it was hot for two days then it went back to being sort of dreary. it should at least rain if its gonna be like this...
i tried acetone transfering printed photos, but i didn't realize you needed a laser printer... so i ended up just soaking a piece of paper with nail polish remover. stupid. i would be unstoppable if it had worked seriously. i have also been absent mindedly rubbing my eyes and getting acetone in there. definitely going to help my already impaired vision

Saturday - 19th April 2025

everybody keeps telling me i need to open an etsy or something and sell my prints. it bothers me SO much. look, its not that i'm totally adverse to the idea of getting money from my work but... etsy... online shops... god. i feel like such a sellout and its not even remotely close to that. i don't know why. it just makes me feel sick. i don't want to be one of those etsy art people. ugh.
besides that, i saw some of Belkis Ayón's work at a museum. her print Resurrección just blew me away. its so big. its enchanting, seriously. it almost brought me to tears. i could stand in front of it forever. it sucked me in completely.
i guess maybe that's part of why i don't want to sell my shit on etsy. that sounds entitled. i don't know. i want to make something that has that impact. not some goddamn storefront

Monday - 7th April 2025

okay. every time i open my computer to do some shit that urgently needs doing i go to neocities. like right now. i am so fucked tomorrow. majorly